Woke up feeling like shit. At first I didn't know why, then I started to remember pieces of dream coming back to me. Sitting down at a table, talking to cute girl, then a huge muscular black guy comes and sits right next to her (Apparently this is how BBCmax/thugmax fears have materialized in my mind). She removes attention from me and starts giving it to him. Right in front of me. Eventually I slam my hand on the table and walk away. I remember noticing them react to me walking off, they looked genuinely sad for me (as if my internalized dream of everyone snapping to and recognizing the unfairness for some vs others had suddenly taken hold in their minds). Later in the dream I remember pieces of both of them coming up to me later and trying to be friendly, saying it wasn't what I thought. But I know that the part of my dream of them "noticing" my suffering is just my fantasy that people would notice it and sympathize in real life. On top of that it's a nasty day here outside and my usual cope is going for a run with my dog. My mind feels sick because this dream was twisted, but I know that the world is sick too. Usually I don't remember dreams but apparently this one was strong enough emotionally to stick with me. Or I just happened to remember it for a myriad of chemical reasons.
also hello all, this may not be the most "mentally healthy" place to be, but it is comforting to see so many others struggling with the same thing I am, able to share their true feelings without fear of judgement or virtue-signaling bs.
also hello all, this may not be the most "mentally healthy" place to be, but it is comforting to see so many others struggling with the same thing I am, able to share their true feelings without fear of judgement or virtue-signaling bs.
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