Discussion Anyone else feel extremely self-conscious when outside

[TheGrayWolf]

Most of the time, even when there aren't a lot of people around, I feel extreme self-conscious bc of my deformities, mental-retardation face, strange features and bad acne scars.
Of course, weird looks and overhearing stuff doesn't help. I see my reflection in my computer screen, holy fuck.
Not even bc of my height.

I don't always have a choice but to go outside and in about 9-12 months I need to get a job, it will be even worse then.

 

[comradespiderman29]

I do. At one point I would wear a mask and hoodie outside. It Never began.

 

[TheGrayWolf]

I do. At one point I would wear a mask and hoodie outside. It Never began.

Same bro same. For me it's often my baseball cap.

 

[Doesitmatter?]

It's been a week since I left my house . It's fucking over

 

[TheGrayWolf]

It's been a week since I left my house . It's fucking over

Brutal. Staying indoors feels like a very comfortable prison and I hate it. But going outside.... well.... no fun as a person who looks so strange

 

[GeckoBus]

Most of the time, even when there aren't a lot of people around, I feel extreme self-conscious bc of my deformities, mental-retardation face, strange features and bad acne scars.
Of course, weird looks and overhearing stuff doesn't help. I see my reflection in my computer screen, holy fuck.
Not even bc of my height.

I don't always have a choice but to go outside and in about 9-12 months I need to get a job, it will be even worse then.

its not you trust me. Its hostile vibes people give you. Think back to when you met another ugly person, or maybe someone who was an inferior race, like some curry serving you at macdonalds or something. That feeling might not have been there then, or lessened. It also happens when you are in a less competitive environment, i.e. you are surrounded by old people online cuz its like idk 2pm on a wednesday in the supermarket.
When there are more young people around, the hostility goes up x1000.

I used to tell myself for years, the anxiety was just in my head from being "narcissistic" and thinking everyone looks at me etc. It's bullshit. It's just people being openly hostile and passive aggressive, and your physical body can pick up on that vibe. If you want an example of that, read this old thread:

Guy describes experiences pre and post surgery.

This is one of my first blackpills. Long but worth the read. Tl;dr Huge difference in the way people treated him after the surgery. Background: This was posted in 2012., long before incels gained exposure, so nobody can say he posted it to push incel agenda. It's a post from a forever alone...

incels.is

TLDR, its a repost from a forum thread from 2012 where someone accidentally got cosmetic surgery in a package deal for a health surgery. He says, he feels no hostility now, people dont reject him when he tries to talk to them etc.

Another example where we accidentally got a repeated experiment situation is this guy:

Bloating Has Destroyed My Life

I want to tell you about something that has cock-blocked me my whole life. I had the misfortune of being born with a health disorder that causes my face and body to bloat intermittently throughout the day. This means that I can appear very attractive one moment, but hideous the next...

looksmax.org

This guy has a gut-disorder where he experiences extreme facial bloating when eating certain foods, to the point where he looses like all his SMV after drinking milk and shit. He says the difference is fucking bonkers, people just fucking hate you.

Just think about this, why do you even know that you are ugly? Because you compare yourself to the average person in your environment. And thats also why others know you are ugly, because you stand out from the average in negative way. If you looked normal, you wouldnt know you are ugly and people would not treat you like that, so you wouldnt be self-conciouss about it. IMO, try this: Go to a place with tons of ugly people, like a nursing home (idk, visit grandpa) or some other place and see if you still feel socially anxious.

Btw this is why white people always say like OMG EVERYONE HERE IS SO NICE in travel vlogs - yes you banana, you went to country of little brown midgets, which worship you, no shit.

 

[Friezacel]

Im extremly selfaware about my height since im blackpilled and since then i hate to go outside

 

[TheGrayWolf]

its not you trust me. Its hostile vibes people give you. Think back to when you met another ugly person, or maybe someone who was an inferior race, like some curry serving you at macdonalds or something. That feeling might not have been there then, or lessened. It also happens when you are in a less competitive environment, i.e. you are surrounded by old people online cuz its like idk 2pm on a wednesday in the supermarket.
When there are more young people around, the hostility goes up x1000.

I used to tell myself for years, the anxiety was just in my head from being "narcissistic" and thinking everyone looks at me etc. It's bullshit. It's just people being openly hostile and passive aggressive, and your physical body can pick up on that vibe. If you want an example of that, read this old thread:

Guy describes experiences pre and post surgery.

This is one of my first blackpills. Long but worth the read. Tl;dr Huge difference in the way people treated him after the surgery. Background: This was posted in 2012., long before incels gained exposure, so nobody can say he posted it to push incel agenda. It's a post from a forever alone...

incels.is

TLDR, its a repost from a forum thread from 2012 where someone accidentally got cosmetic surgery in a package deal for a health surgery. He says, he feels no hostility now, people dont reject him when he tries to talk to them etc.

Another example where we accidentally got a repeated experiment situation is this guy:

Bloating Has Destroyed My Life

I want to tell you about something that has cock-blocked me my whole life. I had the misfortune of being born with a health disorder that causes my face and body to bloat intermittently throughout the day. This means that I can appear very attractive one moment, but hideous the next...

looksmax.org

This guy has a gut-disorder where he experiences extreme facial bloating when eating certain foods, to the point where he looses like all his SMV after drinking milk and shit. He says the difference is fucking bonkers, people just fucking hate you.

Just think about this, why do you even know that you are ugly? Because you compare yourself to the average person in your environment. And thats also why others know you are ugly, because you stand out from the average in negative way. If you looked normal, you wouldnt know you are ugly and people would not treat you like that, so you wouldnt be self-conciouss about it. IMO, try this: Go to a place with tons of ugly people, like a nursing home (idk, visit grandpa) or some other place and see if you still feel socially anxious.

Btw this is why white people always say like OMG EVERYONE HERE IS SO NICE in travel vlogs - yes you banana, you went to country of little brown midgets, which worship you, no shit.

Damn, thanks for this long comment. You make some really interesting points. I am medically deformed and have missing facial bones, but hell, most people are just so mean (as your posts also reflects).

Only one thing – about old/ugly people. They do it too. Ugly people treat me just like average or GL people. I might be an anomaly to the rule you describe. But yeah, I've been to places with ugly old people around and I get the same weird stares and often overhear "wtf does he look like" or "ugliest person I've ever seen" or "looks like a monster" – I feel sad about it and am disappointed in the disrespect. At least wait till I'm WAY out of earshot. Unfortunately I have very good hearing.

 

[GeckoBus]

Damn, thanks for this long comment. You make some really interesting points. I am medically deformed and have missing facial bones, but hell, most people are just so mean (as your posts also reflects).

i didnt know you have medical deformity holy shit. I understand yeah, if its that bad, there can never a group in society that is on your level lookswise. Basically, you are in looks wheelchair.

Only one thing – about old/ugly people. They do it too. Ugly people treat me just like average or GL people. I might be an anomaly to the rule you describe. But yeah, I've been to places with ugly old people around and I get the same weird stares and often overhear "wtf does he look like" or "ugliest person I've ever seen" or "looks like a monster" – I feel sad about it and am disappointed in the disrespect. At least wait till I'm WAY out of earshot. Unfortunately I have very good hearing.

Ive also overheard people talk about my looks behind my back, jfl. You are not an anomaly based on what you said. What I described is basically based on being conventionally ugly. If you have a medical deformity, this does not apply. Man, this is really sad, thinking about your situation. Long time ago I read this guy who said when you work in gas stations at night, all the people with deformities come to buy shit. Like burn victims.

 

[TheJester]

Yes

 

[Grodd]

Yes

 

[TheGrayWolf]

i didnt know you have medical deformity holy shit. I understand yeah, if its that bad, there can never a group in society that is on your level lookswise. Basically, you are in looks wheelchair.

I like that wheelchair-metaphor, it fits.

Ive also overheard people talk about my looks behind my back, jfl. You are not an anomaly based on what you said. What I described is basically based on being conventionally ugly. If you have a medical deformity, this does not apply. Man, this is really sad, thinking about your situation. Long time ago I read this guy who said when you work in gas stations at night, all the people with deformities come to buy shit. Like burn victims.

Thanks for understanding man. It is, I guess you can say "medically confirmed" , that I have an abnormal skull, weird proportions and facial features, plus above-average orbital asymmetry (not in these words, but the report basically means these things). Surgery isn't possible due to a number of anatomical factors (plus what really needs to be fixed can't, like you may not turn a down syndrome person into a chad).
That's brutal what you read but yeah I can understand them, my brain is always calculating when and where are the least amount (or no) people around).
At least mother buys our groceries most of the time and I'm 27.