Discussion Anyone else didn't realize they were bullied?

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

To feel excluded, you first have to be included.
I was never included, not even in kindergarden.
I changed kindergardens at an early age because there was Trouble, I dont know what happened, I just remember being very afraid of going back.

Through my entire life up to the age of Maybe 18, it didn't even occur to me that I was being ostracized.
Sure, I felt like absolute shit and wanted to die every single day but I never made the Connection to social Isolation.

I think it is because every single social interaction I had was negative, so I didn't even think About it as a necessasry factor to my happiness.
My fucking "Friends" in School took my fucking backpack and ripped it into pieces like animals and I didn't do shit. That's how normal it was for me.

I thought going into the library every lunch break to read About the flight patterns of ravens and ww2 artillery guns was normal.

Only now, by reading the experiences of other incels here and seeing myself reflected in These Patterns, I realize what really happened.
Girls would call my house as a dare and my dad would pick up the phone. He would tell me that he heard giggling in the Background and ask if I had a girlfriend and shit.
He's so bluepilled it hurts. The Girls would call me Quasimodo and shit.

Anyone else feel similar?

 

[Made in Heaven]

Loneliness is rough. You gotta any siblings?

Also lmao at your dad. Sounds like mine.

 

[FUCKITALLREEE]

Life became hell the moment we were born.

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

Loneliness is rough. You gotta any siblings?

Also lmao at your dad. Sounds like mine.

I have four siblings. 3 Sisters, 1 brother. I'm 22 now, have been sharing a room with my Little brother since I was 12.
The two older sisters moved out when I was young.

 

[Made in Heaven]

I have four siblings. 3 Sisters, 1 brother. I'm 22 now, have been sharing a room with my Little brother since I was 12.
The two older sisters moved out when I was young.

lmao three sisters. rip.

you should try being closer with ur bro. Might help ur lonliness.

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

lmao three sisters. rip.

you should try being closer with ur bro. Might help ur lonliness.

like I said, to feel lonely you first would have to experience being part of a Group. I was never part of any Group.
I just don't feel anything, what other People call "lonelyness" is my entire life, my Modus Operandi.

That's why I didn't feel the social Isolation when it happened, it was just normal to me, subconsciously I didn't expect anything else.

At this Point in my life, social interaction feels more like a hassle. There is no reward, I was never conditioned to enjoy it through a positive peer Group.

 

[Ticcel]

Yeah by friend group I was a part of in middle school. Didn’t ealize my sole purpose was to be poked fun at

 

[Made in Heaven]

like I said, to feel lonely you first would have to experience being part of a Group. I was never part of any Group.
I just don't feel anything, what other People call "lonelyness" is my entire life, my Modus Operandi.

That's why I didn't feel the social Isolation when it happened, it was just normal to me, subconsciously I didn't expect anything else.

At this Point in my life, social interaction feels more like a hassle. There is no reward, I was never conditioned to enjoy it through a positive peer Group.

shit thats damn depressing bro

good luck, i guess

 

[Deleted member 10124]

Yeah by friend group I was a part of in middle school. Didn’t ealize my sole purpose was to be poked fun at

 

[WØLF]

To feel excluded, you first have to be included.

This isn't true for me. Even though I was never included in any groups I always subconsciously knew I was excluded, it was kinda hard for me not to notice how lonely I actually was when I saw all the other kids having fun while I rotted in the corner by myself.

Girls would call my house as a dare and my dad would pick up the phone. He would tell me that he heard giggling in the Background and ask if I had a girlfriend and shit.
He's so bluepilled it hurts. The Girls would call me Quasimodo and shit.

@Quasimodocel thoughts?

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

Yeah by friend group I was a part of in middle school. Didn’t ealize my sole purpose was to be poked fun at

Did they also talk About you like you are a mental Patient behind your back?
I eavesdropped once while at a Friends house and they talked About me like I am a stupid child or a retard that Needs guidance. Like parents talk About Kids.

And it wasnt just my "Friends" and other students. The teachers would do it too. They would whisper to each other and look over to me and shit. Sometimes I could hear them make comments on my mental state.
Ugly = mentally ill and weird

This isn't true for me. Even though I was never included in any groups I always subconsciously knew I was excluded, it was kinda hard for me not to notice how lonely I actually was when I saw all the other kids having fun while I rotted in the corner by myself.

@Quasimodocel thoughts?

See, that never happened to me. Maybe you are more extroverted and Need external Stimulation. I would just retreat into my own Little world of books and Video games.

 

[Ticcel]

Did they also talk About you like you are a mental Patient behind your back?
I eavesdropped once while at a Friends house and they talked About me like I am a stupid child or a retard that Needs guidance. Like parents talk About Kids.

And it wasnt just my "Friends" and other students. The teachers would do it too. They would whisper to each other and look over to me and shit. Sometimes I could hear them make comments on my mental state.
Ugly = mentally ill and weird


See, that never happened to me. Maybe you are more extroverted and Need external Stimulation. I would just retreat into my own Little world of books and Video games.

No bro nothing that horrible. My condolences

 

[WØLF]

See, that never happened to me. Maybe you are more extroverted and Need external Stimulation. I would just retreat into my own Little world of books and Video games.

I'm probably the most high inhib person in my school, never said a single word to anybody except my sister and sometimes my mom. It's not that I wanted social stimulation (never even craved it tbh), it's the fact that I was always reminded of the brutal reality of my situation because it's hard to ignore it. For example seeing couples practically fucking each other in the hallways, getting bullied, ALWAYS being the only one without a partner when everyone else had one during group work, sitting in the bathroom during lunch because too anxious to rear my ugly head into the cafeteria. These experiences I went through day after day and so many more only reminded me that my situation was definitely not normal by any means especially when compared to all the other normies lives around me. You must've either been coping hard or you're on the spectrum if you never made these connections up until you were 18.

 

[Deleted member 25525]

Life became hell the moment we were born.

Agree. Through my school I was bullied for my looks. From primary school all the way to high school. I was never left alone.

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

These experiences I went through day after day and so many more only reminded me that my situation was definitely not normal by any means especially when compared to all the other normies lives around me. You must've either been coping hard or you're on the spectrum if you never made these connections up until you were 18.

See, I don't compare myself mentally to other People. They are objects that exist in my Environment but they don't have that much priority.
I regularily had this problem where I would be in a class with People for a year and I wouldn't now any names.
I just don't care on a Level.
I don't observe People and feel envy. Even though most normies mog me academically, I still feel like they are Children when I talk to them.

Most of the time I would think About other Things. There are a million Topics that interest me but hanging out with People was never really one of them.
I never made an effort to establish social Connections but they would still shit on me wherever they could.
I only talked with People that shared my interests and even then I just got backstabbed.

idk, Maybe im on the spectrum. I score high on Tests but self-diagnosing is a joke.
My dad is weird and my Uncle has three Kids on the spectrum but I am not Jumping to conclusions.

 

[WØLF]

See, I don't compare myself mentally to other People. They are objects that exist in my Environment but they don't have that much priority.
I regularily had this problem where I would be in a class with People for a year and I wouldn't now any names.
I just don't care on a Level.
I don't observe People and feel envy. Even though most normies mog me academically, I still feel like they are Children when I talk to them.

 

[QuestioningTheWill]

I've been paraplegic my whole life. I'll give a run down of my life broken into eras.

Birth to 4 Years Old
There aren't too many memories at this stage, but I was adopted because my parents didn't want me. They physically abused me which could have impacted my high-inhibition personality and I didn't know it.

Kindergarten & Elementary (Primary school, ages 4 to 11)
I was more bullied in the classical sense during these years. Beating me up, pranks, name-calling, etc. When little kids are violent bullies, nobody really cares, so it happens. Although I made some friends, now that I look back, they all ended up bullying me in some way or ignoring me.

Middle school & High school (ages 11 to 18)
In this turbulent point of my life I was more emotionally bullied, unlike in elementary where it was mostly physical, childish stuff. As kids get older, they resort to mental bullying since physical violent bullying can get them in trouble now. I was mocked for a disability I couldn't help, and overall excluded and ignored. Made fun of for having no friends. As you can see, it's a cycle. Bullying due to no friends > no friends due to isolating myself > isolating myself due to previous bullying experiences.

College & NEET years (18-25)
Since people can be hauled off campus and sent to jail for assault and harassment in college, bullying wasn't really an issue. However, the emotional bullying still existed. I was smirked/giggled at by random strangers, including two noodlewhores after I mentioned I don't have a girlfriend. Professors would attempt to isolate me. Finally, I dropped out at 20 for a number of reasons. And during the lonely years at my adoptive parent's home, I experienced "cyberbullying" which pales in comparison to real-life bullying but hurts nonetheless. One of these sessions involved my looks because I stupidly posted my picture. Had to create a new online identity.

Present day (25 years old)
In your adult years, bullying pretty much remains limited, and typically restricted to the emotional kind. I hope the worst is over. People 25+ have fully developed judgement. We'll see if they still think bullying is fashionable.


Actually tame compared to other stories. My high school and college bullying experience was probably nerf'd because even the mean kids feel like assholes picking on someone with a disability, but they still do it. Teenagers tend to feel safer bullying disabled people off-campus. Had I made friends in high school and college I'm sure I'd be seriously abused at some point.

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

I've been paraplegic my whole life. I'll give a run down of my life broken into eras.

Birth to 4 Years Old
There aren't too many memories at this stage, but I was adopted because my parents didn't want me. They physically abused me which could have impacted my high-inhibition personality and I didn't know it.

Kindergarten & Elementary (Primary school, ages 4 to 11)
I was more bullied in the classical sense during these years. Beating me up, pranks, name-calling, etc. When little kids are violent bullies, nobody really cares, so it happens. Although I made some friends, now that I look back, they all ended up bullying me in some way or ignoring me.

Middle school & High school (ages 11 to 18)
In this turbulent point of my life I was more emotionally bullied, unlike in elementary where it was mostly physical, childish stuff. As kids get older, they resort to mental bullying since physical violent bullying can get them in trouble now. I was mocked for a disability I couldn't help, and overall excluded and ignored. Made fun of for having no friends. As you can see, it's a cycle. Bullying due to no friends > no friends due to isolating myself > isolating myself due to previous bullying experiences.

College & NEET years (18-25)
Since people can be hauled off campus and sent to jail for assault and harassment in college, bullying wasn't really an issue. However, the emotional bullying still existed. I was smirked/giggled at by random strangers, including two noodlewhores after I mentioned I don't have a girlfriend. Professors would attempt to isolate me. Finally, I dropped out at 20 for a number of reasons. And during the lonely years at my adoptive parent's home, I experienced "cyberbullying" which pales in comparison to real-life bullying but hurts nonetheless. One of these sessions involved my looks because I stupidly posted my picture. Had to create a new online identity.

Present day (25 years old)
In your adult years, bullying pretty much remains limited, and typically restricted to the emotional kind. I hope the worst is over. People 25+ have fully developed judgement. We'll see if they still think bullying is fashionable.


Actually tame compared to other stories. My high school and college bullying experience was probably nerf'd because even the mean kids feel like assholes picking on someone with a disability, but they still do it. Teenagers tend to feel safer bullying disabled people off-campus. Had I made friends in high school and college I'm sure I'd be seriously abused at some point.

ok wow, brutality maxxed straight from the first sentence.


Ok, who the fuck, seriously, who the fuck bullies a paraplegic Person?
No Honor, Picking the weakest target they could find, absolutey subhuman behaviour.

I see, but emotionally bullying a disabeled Person is like kicking a horse with broken legs, wtf Kind of asshole does that?
Do you get financial compensation for your Disability? Or do you have a Job?

How does your disability affect you? Is one side of your body inhibited or is it the lower half?
And why did it happen? Genes?
Was it a result of neglect or abuse by your first parents?

However, the emotional bullying still existed. I was smirked/giggled at by random strangers, including two noodlewhores after I mentioned I don't have a girlfriend. Professors would attempt to isolate me. Finally, I dropped out at 20 for a number of reasons.

Give me more Details. I can't say that enough, but who the fuck Acts like that towards a Person in a wheelchair?
Do they have no empathy? No pity? You probably didn't want pity anyways but I am just saying, anything but ridicule, right?

What country do you live in? Some third world shithole?

Anyways, thanks for the long high-effort post, I appreciate it.

 

[cryptic__egg]

I never considered my situation as weird until I was 14. Social exclusion felt normal to me up until that point. As I became more self-aware, I realized that most people had friends, and that it was strange that I didn't. Then I realized that my attempts to talk to people were shot down in a way that other people's weren't. From that point, I realized that people actually hated me and that I'd just never noticed because it was the norm for me.

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

I never considered my situation as weird until I was 14. Social exclusion felt normal to me up until that point. As I became more self-aware, I realized that most people had friends, and that it was strange that I didn't. Then I realized that my attempts to talk to people were shot down in a way that other people's weren't. From that point, I realized that people actually hated me and that I'd just never noticed because it was the norm for me.

Kind of relatable.

I also never considered my Situation weird but I never thought About having Friends. Friends seemed like a hassle to me.
My family is also kind of isolated, we never had strangers over or anything.

I also never attempted to talk to other people, I just stayed in my own world, at home.
The desire was never that great, I suppose, and what other people considered fun was horrible to me.

I didn't learn to Interpret social interactions/Signals until I learned About the blackpill and ist implications.

 

[Deleted member 25274]

I peaked during elementary school after that I started getting bullied

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

I peaked during elementary school after that I started getting bullied

Brutal.
Last time I remember playing with other Kids is in kindergarden.
Even in kindergarden I had to stand in the back of Group photos and this one tall Boy hated me. He would become my bully later, in elementary School.

 

[Deleted member 22999]

Yeah in middle school

 

[Billowel]

brutal thread from start to finish.I never had that issue.From my first year of school i knew that people hated me.I had to fight to just be left alone and i remember once being choked(i was 6-7 at the time) thinking this is it whilst my eyelid flickered back and forth in a strange manner.I was a fat but albeit tall kid(funny that i grew up to be 5'7)so i was able to fight and keep them off my back.Back then i coped by thinking that at some point things will change but they never did.Now,all of my hopes are in god,in christ and in the holy spirit.Only the blessed trinity can make things right.Only that which is perfect and just can make things right.

 

[trashcel420]

Loneliness is rough. You gotta any siblings?

Also lmao at your dad. Sounds like mine.

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

brutal thread from start to finish.I never had that issue.From my first year of school i knew that people hated me.I had to fight to just be left alone and i remember once being choked(i was 6-7 at the time) thinking this is it whilst my eyelid flickered back and forth in a strange manner.I was a fat but albeit tall kid(funny that i grew up to be 5'7)so i was able to fight and keep them off my back.Back then i coped by thinking that at some point things will change but they never did.Now,all of my hopes are in god,in christ and in the holy spirit.Only the blessed trinity can make things right.Only that which is perfect and just can make things right.

Did you join the marine Corps when you were 5? WTF is this shit, they choked you?!
My bully threw a ball in my face with full force from 10 feet distance. I had a concussion and was flat on the Ground, couldn't get up, felt like throwing up.
The teacher mocked me from a distance.
Only a week later, a female teacher noticed that I was Kind of Dizzy all the time and took me out of class and asked me what happened.
Even then, I did not rat this kid out.
The dude was as tall as an adult in 3rd grade and would regularily abuse me, hit me while Girls were laughing at me, call me a Psycho etc...
And I still didn't tell on him.

The fat kid that choked you was a psychopath though, who the hell does something like that?

 

[Billowel]

Did you join the marine Corps when you were 5? WTF is this shit, they choked you?!
My bully threw a ball in my face with full force from 10 feet distance. I had a concussion and was flat on the Ground, couldn't get up, felt like throwing up.
The teacher mocked me from a distance.
Only a week later, a female teacher noticed that I was Kind of Dizzy all the time and took me out of class and asked me what happened.
Even then, I did not rat this kid out.
The dude was as tall as an adult in 3rd grade and would regularily abuse me, hit me while Girls were laughing at me, call me a Psycho etc...
And I still didn't tell on him.

The fat kid that choked you was a psychopath though, who the hell does something like that?

No i am the fat kid not him.I saw him last year and he is now a mechanic(supposedly) and has a gf.A school worker saw him otherwise he might have continued choking me.That same guy threw a decent sized rock at my stomach(i was able to shield my stomach with my hands) but i never had a concussion due to my fights.A teacher in middle school called our entire class retarded(not in front of us of course).I had this maths teacher who played around with my name but apart from that teachers were just "fine".This life on earth is incredibly bitter for people like us.only god can make things right

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

Every guy who went through being excluded was being thrased behind his back

 

[TheGambler2]

I didn't at first,because it was pretty subtle/passive and mostly happened behind my back

 

[ItsOver4cel]

Life became hell the moment we were born.