Sexual desire legit causes me nothing but pain. Currently I'm trying nofap again to see if that helps at all, my reasoning is that if I avoid thinking about anything sexual maybe I'll want it less. I'd like to get to the point where I can have think about having sex with a female, and just not really care/feel completely indifferent, or even have a negative reaction. I mean in some ways I already do, as in that I'm uncertain that I'd actually be able to enjoy it anyway(I have issues with being touched among other things), and I have extremely ambivalent feelings towards the idea of sex in general. But ultimately I don't think that my instincts encouraging me to obsess over it is even remotely productive, given that I'm a 25 year old virgin incel, all that it does is ruin my mood.
Fapping obviously helps temporarily, but only for a few hours, or a day at most. Not to mention that it just makes the desires come back stronger. This is why I'm starting to wonder if it's more harm than help, at least for me specifically. I don't want this to be something that I have to satisfy, I just want it all completely gone. One thing I've been working on for some time is to refocus the object of my desire away from actual 3D females. This partially works, but the problem is that it doesn't really make me feel less attracted to foids, but that it's just made me want something else more.
The only thing I've found which completely works 100% of the time is forcefully dissociating myself from my own life, emotions, and physical sensations to a lesser extent, all of which I've only recently figured out how to intentionally do. Of course this is a double edged sword, and I can't maintain it constantly. However more to the point, I believe this would indicate that it's not just a physical urge which is the problem, but something else as well. Tbh I think a lot of the problem is that I feel deeply inadequate about my lack of sexual experience, or maybe it's more along the lines of knowing that females don't want me, especially since I've been a lifelong outcast. I used to cope that I was MGTOW after all, so it could be that because I've been rejected by people in general, knowing that makes me feel horrible about myself.
But regarding the physical urge specifically, I'm thinking that I need to go about this in a different way, as in tricking my brain into associating sexual desire specifically with unpleasant experiences. This should hopefully make me less likely to act on any of it, make me desire it less, and as a consequence I should feel less bad about myself for not doing so. Any thoughts on this?
Tbh inceldom is an absolute curse, it clearly takes me an inordinate amount of effort just to be able to cope with my own life.
Fapping obviously helps temporarily, but only for a few hours, or a day at most. Not to mention that it just makes the desires come back stronger. This is why I'm starting to wonder if it's more harm than help, at least for me specifically. I don't want this to be something that I have to satisfy, I just want it all completely gone. One thing I've been working on for some time is to refocus the object of my desire away from actual 3D females. This partially works, but the problem is that it doesn't really make me feel less attracted to foids, but that it's just made me want something else more.
The only thing I've found which completely works 100% of the time is forcefully dissociating myself from my own life, emotions, and physical sensations to a lesser extent, all of which I've only recently figured out how to intentionally do. Of course this is a double edged sword, and I can't maintain it constantly. However more to the point, I believe this would indicate that it's not just a physical urge which is the problem, but something else as well. Tbh I think a lot of the problem is that I feel deeply inadequate about my lack of sexual experience, or maybe it's more along the lines of knowing that females don't want me, especially since I've been a lifelong outcast. I used to cope that I was MGTOW after all, so it could be that because I've been rejected by people in general, knowing that makes me feel horrible about myself.
But regarding the physical urge specifically, I'm thinking that I need to go about this in a different way, as in tricking my brain into associating sexual desire specifically with unpleasant experiences. This should hopefully make me less likely to act on any of it, make me desire it less, and as a consequence I should feel less bad about myself for not doing so. Any thoughts on this?
Tbh inceldom is an absolute curse, it clearly takes me an inordinate amount of effort just to be able to cope with my own life.
