TeeHee Amy Schumer Reveals The 2 Days A Year That She Always Has Sex With Husband

[DarkStar]

Amy Schumer reveals the 2 days a year that she always has sex with husband Chris Fischer

Amy Schumer sticks to a schedule when it comes to her sex life.

www.yahoo.com

So good, they do it twice.

I read this in the most sarcastic, condescending, and mocking tone possible.

I mean, this guy is literally being subtly mocked for the fact he's not only married to Amy Schumer, but for the fact that he is literally being cucked in this manner.

Amy Schumer recently revealed that there are two days a year that she and husband Chris Fischer always have sex.

Now, in all fairness, I did jump the gun a bit when I stumbled across this, so it could imply that they seemingly do have other days they have intercourse on, but I mean if not this just shows how ovER it is for most men.

This guy -Chris Fischer- who mogs her in absolutely every metric has to settle for this fat, unfunny, and generally vacant bitch who is just sucking up oxygen on the Earth atp. Not only that, but she seemingly has him by the balls here & more or less has allowed for the media to mock him subtly.

The “Kinda Pregnant” star has been married to the 45-year-old chef since February 2018. They tied the knot in a private Malibu ceremony in front of around 80 guests, including Jennifer Lawrence, Jake Gyllenhaal, Larry David and Jennifer Aniston.

Hey, maybe he should help her with her diet.

I mean, foids are always the ones who wish we cooked more, right?

Schumer talked about scheduling sex with her husband earlier this month when she appeared on “The View.”

“We do birthdays … we do schedule it, we do schedule it. Nobody ever is like, ‘Oh!’ There’s never, like, a vibe where it just happens,” she said, before asking the co-hosts, “Do people do that?”

“Yes, because you’ve got to get it in. You’ve got to schedule time to get it in, man,” Sunny Hostin replied.

This right here, is literally her just admitting out-loud that she doesn't actually want him, and more or less is settling for him.

The fact she says ":oh, theres never like a vibe" really just says it all.

“We’re pretty corny,” Schumer went on. “We will make love, we will make sweet love.”

Reminds me of these stats I saw:

Mild: About one in five – 20.02% – fell into this cluster, characterised by “the lowest intensity, lowest obsessive thinking, lowest commitment, and lowest frequency of sex”. This group also had the lowest proportion of people who thought their partner was “definitely” in love with them – just 25.31% – and the lowest proportion having sex, at 82.72%.

Libidinous: About one in 10 – 9.64% – were libidinous romantic lovers, who had sex an average of 10 times a week and up to 20 times. They were characterised as “relatively high intensity, relatively high obsessive thinking, relatively high commitment, and exceptionally high frequency of sex”. This group were slightly more likely to be male, and had the highest proportion of people in a committed relationship but not living together.

Sex 20 times a week? New study identifies four types of romantic lover

Australian research is ‘first to empirically show that we don’t all love the same’, lead author says

www.theguardian.com

Which is kinda brutal tbh, it really hammers home that on average, most relationships are just oofy-doofy betabuxxers.

 

[AtrociousCitizen]

Imagine being a famous chef, mogging her in every single way, and still being reduced to a scheduled, passionless sex life with an unfunny, overweight foid who publicly mocks you

 

[Wumbus]

(((schumer)))

 

[PrototypeCel]

kanye was right
their wives own them

 

[DarkStar]

kanye was right
their wives own them

Kanye is unironically high-IQ at times

 

[PrototypeCel]

Kanye is unironically high-IQ at times

 

[turbosperg]

most relationships are just oofy-doofy betabuxxers.

I bet she has sex hundreds of times each year, but only twice or thrice with her husband.

 

[DarkStar]

I bet she has sex hundreds of times each year, but only twice or thrice with her husband.

 

[Grodd]

She's a fat cunt