Venting am i a bad person for not wanting to work hard?

[inceloser]

i can hardly walk some days, im so tired and drained from life. even at school i sit alone in my desk in the corner waiting for my life to come to an end. how do my parents expect me to lift a finger when i can hardly blink. every blink is like a reminder of how alive i am, and how real my life is. it really makes me want to kill myself. on top of that, when im stressed my body actually acts out.
i get headaches, i feel like shit, i cant move some times, and i sweat a lot. to make matters worse ive become a fatcel in the last 8 months. gained almost 50 pounds in a span of 8 months
fucking hell jfl. i dont want to do anything in life, even if a miracle were to happen and i were to ascend to htn id still feel the exact same and all id ever want to aspire to do is lay in bed all day and think about killing myself.

 

[inceloser]

my whole life my parents have yelled at me for not wanting to work hard, but what am i even working for. a modern family house and a wife that will cuck me daily? i wont be happy if i had those things. i just cant accept being happy or working hard when there is nothing to "work hard" for. my whole life has been shit. nothing will change that. seriously
nothing will

 

[inceloser]

even when i did work hard, and put effort my parents would tell me its not enough.
i used to be an athlete, for track, i even got qualified into nationals. i scored 9th for my age group, meaning i was 9th overall the entire USA. and my parents told me i didnt work hard enough to be first and stopped track for me. i think thats when my depression really starte dbecause i dedicated 4-5 years of my life to track and now i had nothing.
i lost my biggest cope and distraction in life. and this was it.

 

[Govid_Dorious]

bad goyim

 

[Roscomnadzor]

No, don't blame yourself man, you're not the one who put yourself in this situation, the world just fucking hates you and keeps kicking you into the ground, you just have to find another way to cope about it, there's plenty of ways, even if its self destructive.

 

[RandomBroCel]

kids.is

 

[inceloser]

No, don't blame yourself man, you're not the one who put yourself in this situation, the world just fucking hates you and keeps kicking you into the ground, you just have to find another way to cope about it, there's plenty of ways, even if its self destructive.

i want drugs, cant find any right now. i have to survive a year here. id rather be homeless in america than in hong kong so i guess ill have to wait it out. i roped after the first month of living here but failed obviously. tried overdosing on magnesium then realized
if i want to rope i want it to be somewhere special to me. like my familys old house, the one i grew up in and had some pretty shitty memories but it was still nice. i mmight rope at the first park i remebered going to as a kid. seems soothing.

 

[Pancakecel]

kids.is