W
WawelDragon1683
Always last
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- Joined
- Apr 17, 2019
- Posts
- 9,027
I know you're sick of my suicide posting. This will be the last thread on this subject, so i won't annoy people anymore. Basically it is now beyond clear that my life will never get better. My ocd is worse than ever. All day i'm suffering so much i want to scream. I know noone cares, but i have noone else to say this too. You can't imagine how much pain i'm in everyday.
The only hope i ever had was to have a wife and kids. That will never happen though. Even if by some miracle i got a wife, which i won't. I could never have kids. I have contamination ocd and my kids would just trigger it all the time. i would snap at them like an insane person. I know cause i snapped at my parents and siblings too cause of some arbitrary obsession i had at the time. My kids would hate me and my wife would divorce me. Also the worst nighmare would be if my kdis too had ocd as it might be genetic. Ocd is literal hell on earth and i could never give it to my kids.
There simply is no hope. my brain is damaged. The only choice is either death or life of endless suffering. Only an idiot would pick suffering. i have been suicidal for the past 6 years and my life just keeps getting worse. if i don't end it it will just keep getting worse no matter what i do. Thanks for reading. I needed someone to hear me out as my family want me dead.
The only hope i ever had was to have a wife and kids. That will never happen though. Even if by some miracle i got a wife, which i won't. I could never have kids. I have contamination ocd and my kids would just trigger it all the time. i would snap at them like an insane person. I know cause i snapped at my parents and siblings too cause of some arbitrary obsession i had at the time. My kids would hate me and my wife would divorce me. Also the worst nighmare would be if my kdis too had ocd as it might be genetic. Ocd is literal hell on earth and i could never give it to my kids.
There simply is no hope. my brain is damaged. The only choice is either death or life of endless suffering. Only an idiot would pick suffering. i have been suicidal for the past 6 years and my life just keeps getting worse. if i don't end it it will just keep getting worse no matter what i do. Thanks for reading. I needed someone to hear me out as my family want me dead.