I feel like such shit and I just want to come on here and rant/vent.
All I want is to be my own person. I get happiness is subjective, and its relative; I'm not even asking for that. I'm sick of being judged on my appearance to the extent that it seems to truly characterize me. No matter how hard I've worked or what I've achieced, I fall back into the same position and I'm convinced it's due to looks.
I'm not exclusively complaining about women rn. Thats certainly one aspect, but theres just so much more. Not will I never have the comfort or validation of a girl, but I will also never be capable of reaching my career, social, and entrepreneurial goals.
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]"In the U.S. population, about [/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]14.5 percent[/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif] of all men are six feet or over. Among CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that number is [/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]58 percent[/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]."[/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]
Thats just one of many pieces of evidence that everyone passively judges based on physical appearance. I feel like my fate has been decided not by a God, but by something as trivial as my fucking genes.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]I'll die alone, and I'll never achieve any of the things I want. I worked my ass off in high school to get into one of the top 3 schools for CS. I worked my ass off in high school running a few business to afford things and future tuition.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]Yet despite my years of effort, and effort to looksmax, I'm still fucking ugly, and I'm still a failure. In school I'm more invisible than ever (not the worst thing in the world), and I'm also probably a bottom 10% retard. All these rich ass kids around me havent had to work a day in their lives and have everything over me; looks, money, etc.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]On top of that, I'm judged everywhere I go because I look like an ugly 14 yr old. It's fucking horrible, and I can't get a break in life. No matter what I do nobody takes me seriously; I can't go to a business event or anything without being a fucking joke, and I'm too ugly to be taken seriously by any girl.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]I'm so fucking sick of this. I just want to be me own person, and to live being judged by my character and not my appearance. It's made me so unhappy that I frequently break down as I'm sure many others here have experienced. Nothing I can do is able to pull me out of this rut, because thays just my life, a rut. [/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]A real relationship, the capacity to chase my financial and career goals, the ability to be taken seriously, any of those would satisfy me. [/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]To add insult to injury, my earnings were in BTC a couple yrs ago, so if I just held and didnt sell to pay for college, I would be a millionaire instead of broke.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]I honestly just want to pack my things and drive forever. Roll the windows down, turn some music on, and drive on some long empty roads on a sunny day. I'm so sick of everything that part of me just wants to be completely isolated, because at least in isolation I can learn to be comfortable with myself.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]Fuck this cruel life. If there is a God, then he hated me from my birth. Living is torture. Being denied normalcy and social acceptance is living hell.[/font]
All I want is to be my own person. I get happiness is subjective, and its relative; I'm not even asking for that. I'm sick of being judged on my appearance to the extent that it seems to truly characterize me. No matter how hard I've worked or what I've achieced, I fall back into the same position and I'm convinced it's due to looks.
I'm not exclusively complaining about women rn. Thats certainly one aspect, but theres just so much more. Not will I never have the comfort or validation of a girl, but I will also never be capable of reaching my career, social, and entrepreneurial goals.
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]"In the U.S. population, about [/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]14.5 percent[/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif] of all men are six feet or over. Among CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, that number is [/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]58 percent[/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]."[/font][font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif] [/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]
Thats just one of many pieces of evidence that everyone passively judges based on physical appearance. I feel like my fate has been decided not by a God, but by something as trivial as my fucking genes.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]I'll die alone, and I'll never achieve any of the things I want. I worked my ass off in high school to get into one of the top 3 schools for CS. I worked my ass off in high school running a few business to afford things and future tuition.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]Yet despite my years of effort, and effort to looksmax, I'm still fucking ugly, and I'm still a failure. In school I'm more invisible than ever (not the worst thing in the world), and I'm also probably a bottom 10% retard. All these rich ass kids around me havent had to work a day in their lives and have everything over me; looks, money, etc.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]On top of that, I'm judged everywhere I go because I look like an ugly 14 yr old. It's fucking horrible, and I can't get a break in life. No matter what I do nobody takes me seriously; I can't go to a business event or anything without being a fucking joke, and I'm too ugly to be taken seriously by any girl.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]I'm so fucking sick of this. I just want to be me own person, and to live being judged by my character and not my appearance. It's made me so unhappy that I frequently break down as I'm sure many others here have experienced. Nothing I can do is able to pull me out of this rut, because thays just my life, a rut. [/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]A real relationship, the capacity to chase my financial and career goals, the ability to be taken seriously, any of those would satisfy me. [/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]To add insult to injury, my earnings were in BTC a couple yrs ago, so if I just held and didnt sell to pay for college, I would be a millionaire instead of broke.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]I honestly just want to pack my things and drive forever. Roll the windows down, turn some music on, and drive on some long empty roads on a sunny day. I'm so sick of everything that part of me just wants to be completely isolated, because at least in isolation I can learn to be comfortable with myself.[/font]
[font=Roboto-Regular, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif]Fuck this cruel life. If there is a God, then he hated me from my birth. Living is torture. Being denied normalcy and social acceptance is living hell.[/font]
