vERy well described and well-written
I’m also in the same predicament: losER NEET rottER.
I feel like I’m physically ALIVE (body STILL “LIVING”), BUT mentally DEAD (got NO soul left).
My body continues to function in ordER to subconsciously keep me alive, even though mentally I’ve lost a lot of conscious “will” to live.
I fear continuing to live, and consequently expERiencing MORE pain/suffERing in the FUTURE.
but I also fear dying, and consequently nevER AGAIN expERiencing what little pleasure/enjoyment I gain from life (mainly just from using intERnet, eating good food and jERking off, and to a lessER extent from occasionally going on walks, reading books etc.), in addition to making my life EVEN WORSE if my suicide attempt is UN-successful and leaves me “mostly MENTALLY aware” BUT with pERmanent life-altERing PHYSICAL disabilities (requiring a wheelchair, electric scooter, various other machinERy NECESSARY to enable me to efficiently and successfully COMPLETE cERtain day to day activities and/or a govERnment assigned/private care-providER who might physically abuse me and financially exploit me for my disability pension), which could make my life EVEN WORSE.
too weak-willed to live and “try” to make my life bettER, BUT (at the same time) too “cowardly” to kill myself.
STUCK and TRAPPED in a misERable existence, with NO WAY OUT
This was one of the most relatable threads detailing the typical expERiences pERtaining to the lifestyle of a rottER.
