I am not proud of my past. It's not really my failures, but not choosing what my instinct thought was correct and going the bluepill way.
Like many of you, I was born into the bluepill, at this era, all of us are, it's the inescapable and eschatological zeitgeist of our fate.
So, for the majority of my life (up to my mid 20s) I was guided by illusions in which I self-indulged, illusions that I could be part of the abstract social caste of the "normal people".
What bothered me the most upon (finally) accepting the blackpill (only after facing it in many occasions of my life, but having looked the other way), I realize now, is not realizing my failures (not achieving what I valued, or what I now value), but resentfulness of being lead to act (and acting accordingly) a certain way that is not in tune with actual and factual reality (the larger blackpill, not the simple lookist one).
All my life I was trying to escape the illusions and trying to find actual reality in which I could base my actions upon, but it was not before I tried all of the ideologies, philosophical theories, political thoughts (JFL) and "pills" (blue, purple, red), that I finally came to the simplest and most obvious conclusions about the world (it all becomes clear once you disbelieve the just world fallacy).
I simped for females.
I jestered myself for "friends" and acquaintances.
I spent money in consoomerist parafernalia that has not practical value.
I gave my time and labour away for free to help people who were only using me for their own benefit.
I acted according to what my (single) mother and my beta father thought was the best way to go.
I graduated at an university course that has an overcrowded and outdated market.
I wageslaved like a cuck for opportunities of no value.
I went to a psychologist, I took jewish medicines.
I was a weak high inhibition sperg that acted without a backbone and tried to fit in by acting subserviently.
But upon realizing the truth, you are finally free to act according to your self-preserving nature without care for what's socially expected.
I am 27 years old now, and I have been blackpilled in the ontological and integrated sense of the self for the last few years (the last two especially).
My only goal in life is to look back at my last 10 years of life, 10 years from now. I'll be 37, basically my deathbed (if I'm healthy - which is not certain - I might be able to enjoy life the way I intend to maybe up to 50 years old).
It's a plan that I finally feel like I can accomplish - unlike all the other ones that are usual to the zeitgeist - and with my life experience up until now, I feel safe it's the right thing to do for myself.
I have done drugs, I have fucked whores, I have been in fights, I have done radical sports. And I want more of those things.
In the next 10 years, I want to recover from my knee injury and get back at MMA training, after 5 years of constant training, I can say I'm already achieving some of the mastery I wanted, but I won't stop until I achieve full mastery at grappling, kickboxing and capoeira. Watching my weak genetic potential evolve into a decent fighter was lifefuel for me. Fucking whores has been a blast too (not always, but it's part of the ride). I enjoy all of it because I do it all to myself.
This low inhibition and self-centering was likely the outcome of lots of weed consumption, it can make you focus the experience all inside your self, your animal instinct drives your actions in full synchronicity. It's like your playing yourself in a videogame.
I'm going to moneymax so I can stop being a wagie in the next 5 years and have my own gig.
I'm going to move to a beach city and finally learn how to surf (like I tried in my youth, but eventually gave up, because I was trying it for clout when I should have focused on my own enjoyment and adrenaline).
In fact, I can already do that, my wagie job already pays me enough to do that and afford to invest a decent part of my income.
I'm going to order different ethnicities, types and sizes of whores to fuck three to four times a month.
I'm going to do all the drugs I want to do (while trying to preserve my health to a certain degree - all enjoyment needs wisdom, so it can last longer).
I just got my motorcycle drivers license after driving a car for some decent years, and I'll enjoy the adrenaline of that for a while, it will be a nice cope.
I will go back to doing radical sports, mountain climbing, surfing, I wanna do skydiving too.
I'll learn all types of abilities in order to be self-sufficient and less dependent on the status quo. I want to be an island, an overseer of the zeitgeist.
Boyos, Ted K was right about one thing, albeit maybe not being explicit about it - we are instinctual animals and we can only be fulfilled by achieving our instinctual needs.
Humans need to eat and sleep (survive). Men want to fight and coom. Men want adrenaline. We want to feel alive and true to our raw ontological being. Remember, we are in 2022, but are the same species that lived in jungles with very little sense of "civilization" or "modernity" not too long ago.
However, we are not only a product of our genetics (and biology), we are also product (and limited) to the times (era) in which we are born.
But I'm not a Kaczyinskian, I could say I'm more of a Stirnerist (if I were to put some idiotic label on myself), and I aim only at my own need and desire (in full cognition and alignment of the blackpill reality of life).
I'll enjoy my copes (even if they are being executed as surrogate activities), but they will be copes that are in alignment of the ontological nature of man (as animal and as a "reasoning" entity, if so), I'll fight, I'll coom to young fertile pussies of all types, I'll experience the drugs and sensations that earthly substances can provide me (no synthetics), I will enjoy activities that give me adrenaline and make me feel alive instead of LDARING.
I'll only act according to my own will. This is the most important thing to be aware in yourself in my view.
I will preserve my own living, enjoyment and development above all else and learn how to face my enemies (all of soyciety).
Boyos, learn how to fight. This can make you alive, it is a very powerful sensation to be able to fully dominate and put down an enemy that is genetically superior than you. After all, we have to compensate for our genetics, it's our fate.
If I can enjoy pursuing and achieving these goals - which I believe I can and will - I'll look back and feel satisfied with my past 10 years, 10 years from now, this is the goal that I set for myself.
And I will feel fine with the life I've lived, despite my genetic and generational fate.
Godspeed brothERs
Like many of you, I was born into the bluepill, at this era, all of us are, it's the inescapable and eschatological zeitgeist of our fate.
So, for the majority of my life (up to my mid 20s) I was guided by illusions in which I self-indulged, illusions that I could be part of the abstract social caste of the "normal people".
What bothered me the most upon (finally) accepting the blackpill (only after facing it in many occasions of my life, but having looked the other way), I realize now, is not realizing my failures (not achieving what I valued, or what I now value), but resentfulness of being lead to act (and acting accordingly) a certain way that is not in tune with actual and factual reality (the larger blackpill, not the simple lookist one).
All my life I was trying to escape the illusions and trying to find actual reality in which I could base my actions upon, but it was not before I tried all of the ideologies, philosophical theories, political thoughts (JFL) and "pills" (blue, purple, red), that I finally came to the simplest and most obvious conclusions about the world (it all becomes clear once you disbelieve the just world fallacy).
I simped for females.
I jestered myself for "friends" and acquaintances.
I spent money in consoomerist parafernalia that has not practical value.
I gave my time and labour away for free to help people who were only using me for their own benefit.
I acted according to what my (single) mother and my beta father thought was the best way to go.
I graduated at an university course that has an overcrowded and outdated market.
I wageslaved like a cuck for opportunities of no value.
I went to a psychologist, I took jewish medicines.
I was a weak high inhibition sperg that acted without a backbone and tried to fit in by acting subserviently.
But upon realizing the truth, you are finally free to act according to your self-preserving nature without care for what's socially expected.
I am 27 years old now, and I have been blackpilled in the ontological and integrated sense of the self for the last few years (the last two especially).
My only goal in life is to look back at my last 10 years of life, 10 years from now. I'll be 37, basically my deathbed (if I'm healthy - which is not certain - I might be able to enjoy life the way I intend to maybe up to 50 years old).
It's a plan that I finally feel like I can accomplish - unlike all the other ones that are usual to the zeitgeist - and with my life experience up until now, I feel safe it's the right thing to do for myself.
I have done drugs, I have fucked whores, I have been in fights, I have done radical sports. And I want more of those things.
In the next 10 years, I want to recover from my knee injury and get back at MMA training, after 5 years of constant training, I can say I'm already achieving some of the mastery I wanted, but I won't stop until I achieve full mastery at grappling, kickboxing and capoeira. Watching my weak genetic potential evolve into a decent fighter was lifefuel for me. Fucking whores has been a blast too (not always, but it's part of the ride). I enjoy all of it because I do it all to myself.
This low inhibition and self-centering was likely the outcome of lots of weed consumption, it can make you focus the experience all inside your self, your animal instinct drives your actions in full synchronicity. It's like your playing yourself in a videogame.
I'm going to moneymax so I can stop being a wagie in the next 5 years and have my own gig.
I'm going to move to a beach city and finally learn how to surf (like I tried in my youth, but eventually gave up, because I was trying it for clout when I should have focused on my own enjoyment and adrenaline).
In fact, I can already do that, my wagie job already pays me enough to do that and afford to invest a decent part of my income.
I'm going to order different ethnicities, types and sizes of whores to fuck three to four times a month.
I'm going to do all the drugs I want to do (while trying to preserve my health to a certain degree - all enjoyment needs wisdom, so it can last longer).
I just got my motorcycle drivers license after driving a car for some decent years, and I'll enjoy the adrenaline of that for a while, it will be a nice cope.
I will go back to doing radical sports, mountain climbing, surfing, I wanna do skydiving too.
I'll learn all types of abilities in order to be self-sufficient and less dependent on the status quo. I want to be an island, an overseer of the zeitgeist.
Boyos, Ted K was right about one thing, albeit maybe not being explicit about it - we are instinctual animals and we can only be fulfilled by achieving our instinctual needs.
Humans need to eat and sleep (survive). Men want to fight and coom. Men want adrenaline. We want to feel alive and true to our raw ontological being. Remember, we are in 2022, but are the same species that lived in jungles with very little sense of "civilization" or "modernity" not too long ago.
However, we are not only a product of our genetics (and biology), we are also product (and limited) to the times (era) in which we are born.
But I'm not a Kaczyinskian, I could say I'm more of a Stirnerist (if I were to put some idiotic label on myself), and I aim only at my own need and desire (in full cognition and alignment of the blackpill reality of life).
I'll enjoy my copes (even if they are being executed as surrogate activities), but they will be copes that are in alignment of the ontological nature of man (as animal and as a "reasoning" entity, if so), I'll fight, I'll coom to young fertile pussies of all types, I'll experience the drugs and sensations that earthly substances can provide me (no synthetics), I will enjoy activities that give me adrenaline and make me feel alive instead of LDARING.
I'll only act according to my own will. This is the most important thing to be aware in yourself in my view.
I will preserve my own living, enjoyment and development above all else and learn how to face my enemies (all of soyciety).
Boyos, learn how to fight. This can make you alive, it is a very powerful sensation to be able to fully dominate and put down an enemy that is genetically superior than you. After all, we have to compensate for our genetics, it's our fate.
If I can enjoy pursuing and achieving these goals - which I believe I can and will - I'll look back and feel satisfied with my past 10 years, 10 years from now, this is the goal that I set for myself.
And I will feel fine with the life I've lived, despite my genetic and generational fate.
Godspeed brothERs
